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The Importance of a Support System

In days past, families grew up surrounded by not only their immediate relatives, but extended family as well. Even if everyone didn't live in the same house, they generally lived on the same land and worked together to grow their food, carry out seasonal tasks, and raise their children. They were connected to their community, and everyone helped out. These days, most of us grow our families alone, without the large support systems that folks once had. Many parents are working outside of the home while others are living off of the land, and almost all of us are trying to reach a common goal of being self-sufficient. Now, being self-sufficient is truly a wonderful thing to be, but it is often a misunderstood term in that people assume that self-sufficiency equals doing everything by yourself with no help from outside sources. Let's be honest here and admit that nobody knows all things, and nobody can provide all things to everyone, so cultivating a support system to help out with some of those things can bring immense relief, as well as the opportunity to learn new things! Think about the people who you trust the most. Are they available to come and help? Whether it's once a week or once a month, having someone you know and trust to come and be with your children, assist with a home project, or teach you and/or your children a new skill is invaluable. This does not have to mean just family, either. If you know people in your community who are apt at a certain skill, they may be able to help, or point you towards someone who can assist. What sorts of programs or events are available in your community? Are there 4-H programs or parent/child classes to participate in? Does your local preschool cooperative offer afternoon or summer programs? Look into community happenings for opportunities to expand your child's (and your own) experiences, interactions with others, and interests. Putting your child into an afternoon preschool program can give him/her the chance to play with other children, learn new skills, and adapt to socializing outside of the home. Your local library may offer a children's reading hour and art time once a week, or you may even find some "Mommy/Daddy & Me" classes locally to get out of the house and do something fun! If you need help financially, have limited or no transportation, or aren't sure where to turn for specific resources, you may qualify for government programs that can help you with your and your child's needs. Contact your local DHHS office or go to http://www.211.org/ to find local resources that will get you ahead when you need it the most. Resources are everywhere even if sometimes we don't  realize it. People want to help! All we have to do is ask. :)

What to Expect When You Bring Home a Newborn

It's been nine months - maybe ten - and the big day has finally arrived! Labor has started, you are nervous and excited and cannot wait to meet the tiny human being who has been safely nestled in your womb all this time. You give birth, and if you are in the hospital you cannot wait to get your baby home! If you birth at home, you cannot wait for quietude and bonding time. Regardless of how or where you give birth, there are a few things that may happen once the excitement of labor and birth have passed, and it is important to be aware of them should they arise. Even though they are normal, they may cause challenges for you and it is so important that you take care of yourself and ask for help when you need it. 1. Breastfeeding will cause uterine contractions.  Our bodies are so amazing, and every natural occurrence that takes place within are so wonderfully synchronized to assist the body as a whole, even if at times they are a bit unpleasant. Breastfeeding causes the body to release oxytocin and prostaglandin which bring on uterine contractions after giving birth. This is necessary for bringing the uterus back down to its normal size over the course of the first few weeks. The pain of uterine contractions is usually the most intense during the first day or so after giving birth, and can be milder for first time mothers since they generally have better muscle tone. Personally I had pretty intense uterine contractions that lasted for a week before they went away with my first child. With my second child, they were actually more mild than with my first, proving that everyone is different and no experience will be exactly the same. Deep breathing exercises can greatly assist in coping with the pain of these contractions, as can warm water bottles. If you feel the need to take a pain blocker, please consult with your OBGYN or midwife for recommendations on the safest method. 2. You may experience vaginal soreness. The simply act of pushing a baby out of our vaginas is enough to cause vaginal soreness, but if you had an episiotomy or tore at all, then you may be sore for a bit longer (and don't even get me started on hemorrhoids). Even though you should be resting, sitting can be very uncomfortable for a woman with a vaginal tear or stitches. Sitting on a pillow or doughnut (we're not talking Krispy Kremes here, folks) can help quite a bit. When you go to the bathroom, use a peri-bottle or cup to wash yourself with warm water afterwards, and try pressing a washcloth or cloth wipe firmly against your wound when having a bowel movement. Ice is your friend! Wrap some ice in a washcloth, or soak a cloth pad in cold witch hazel to keep against you to help with swelling and pain. Because constipation is common after giving birth, your healthcare provider may recommend taking mild laxatives to help ease bowel movements which can exacerbate vaginal discomfort. 3. You may experience night sweats.  If only we looked so glamorous. After your baby is born, your body will begin to get rid of all of the excess fluids it was hoarding in order to nourish the growing fetus while in the womb. Again, this is a completely natural occurrence, and can best be handled by making sure to drink plenty of fluids, keeping your room cool enough for comfort, and lying on a soft blanket or towel to prevent having to change the sheets on a daily basis. Night sweats can last for a few weeks, so just try to be patient and make yourself as comfortable as possible until your hormones begin to regulate again. 3. You may be very emotional. Ah, hormones again. Hormones are really the main cause for most of these post-partum phenomenons, and the emotional aspect is no exception. When I brought our first daughter home from the hospital, I went through periods of great joy and relaxation, hysterical crying, and moderate anxiety... sometimes in the matter of a few hours! I sobbed because my baby was no longer snuggled safely within my womb. Even though I could now hold her and smell her wonderful "new life" smell, and let her curl her tiny fingers around mine, I missed her being inside of me where I knew she was safe and warm. My experience in the hospital with her was less than ideal, and I could not stop thinking about all of the ways in which I felt slighted, and disrespected, and how I had wanted so much more for my daughter and myself, and that got me crying uncontrollably, too. Amidst my mood swings, my husband remained extremely nurturing and understanding, assuring me that everything was as it should be, and we were all safe, healthy, and loved. And I am so grateful for that, because I honestly thought that the mood swings would never end! Obviously, they did end, and after the most intense part of my hormonal shifts happened, things calmed down and I felt much more balanced. It is completely normal to experience a wide range of emotions in the first few weeks (even months) postpartum! Try not to feel embarassed or ashamed of these feelings, as you have just done a tremendous task! You brought a life into the world, and now your body is working to release what needs to be released, and readjust itself to accommodate the new requirements of your physical and emotional self. If you find yourself becoming depressed, uninterested in your baby, or are having harmful thoughts towards yourself or your baby, you may be experiencing postpartum depression. It is imperative that you reach out for help immediately if this happens to ensure that you and your baby get loving care and assistance. For more information about PPD, please visit this link: http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/postpartum-depression/basics/definition/con-20029130 4. You will bleed...maybe a lot. Now, it makes sense that if you just pushed a human body out of a usually small orifice that you are going to bleed for a little bit afterwards, but the blood released after child birth is actually sloughed off tissue, leftover blood, and vaginal mucous which helps to cleanse the uterine walls and vagina. Within the first few days up to a week or so, this bleeding will be at its heaviest. Laying chux pads down on your bed, wearing menstrual pads (cloth is so much more comfy than disposable, but obviously the choice is yours!), and resting will help to minimize the amount of blood shed at one time, plus it will make you feel more comfortable. This is a time to bond with your baby and take it easy. As women, sometimes we feel as though we cannot afford to (or aren't "allowed" to) take the time that we deserve - at least a month - to relax and be cared for as we connect with our new little ones, but if it is at all possible, it is to your and your baby's benefit that you do. Trying to do too much too soon can create very real complications, not only physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. I tried to do a load of laundry one week post-partum (I felt guilty that I wasn't helping around the house) and ended up with gushes of blood and huge clots! I honestly thought that the midwives were being overly-cautious when they told me to stay in bed or lay on the couch for the first few weeks. WEEKS?! What?! Yeah, right. Who does that? Ahem... women who just had a baby, that's who. 5. Your breasts may be very sore and/or leak breastmilk I remember wondering when my milk was going to come in, and what exactly Maya was getting for nourishment when she was nursing the first couple of days, because I couldn't seem to squeeze anything out, and my breasts didn't appear to be very different than they had been just before she was born. Then, on the 2nd or 3rd morning, I woke up and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror on the wall. "HOLY $%*!!" I exclaimed, and then proceeded to spin around to my husband and open my robe. My breasts were bigger than they had ever been in my life.... noticeably! It would have been pretty exciting except for the fact that they were extremely sore. So I sat down and began to nurse, and suddenly there was milk dripping down and soaking through the front of my clothing. "Oooooh.... now the milk's come in." It can be pretty uncomfortable for some to sit around in a wet shirt or bra, but cloth breast pads can be a wonderful aid in absorbing excess milk. If you decide not to breastfeed and aren't sure how to deal with engorgement, wearing a snug, supportive bra can help stop milk production. Do not try to squeeze milk out or rub your breasts as this can signal more milk production. 6. Your baby will not sleep through the night. There seems to be some differences of opinion as to what is considered sleeping "through the night" for a newborn baby. You should not expect - or encourage - a baby to sleep a full 8 hours or more at a time! It is necessary for babies to wake at least every few hours to nurse, and babies simply will not sleep for more than 3 - 4 hours at a time usually. That being said, babies sleep a lot during their first few weeks, so even if you aren't getting the sleep you were once used to at night, you can always nap with your baby during the day and know that you will be able to get some quality rest. One of the common factors here is rest, which is so important in the first weeks after your baby is born. It is a time of healing, of connection, and of slowing down and enjoying this new Life that you helped to create. Be kind to yourself, ask for help when you need it, and try to take as much time as you need to recover. What was your postpartum experience like? - Our Resident Mom, Lindsay Lewis

Baby Showers + Cloth Diapers

Baby Showers + Cloth Diapers

At my first baby shower, there were no cloth diapers in sight. Even though I asked for cloth diapers, nobody got me any. Probably because I wasn't being taken seriously. The looks I received from friends and family when I told them I wanted to cloth diaper matched their most common comment: "Yeah, that won't last long!" (Insert knowing chuckle of naivety here) They - like many - believed that cloth diapers meant prefolds with pins, getting your hands all poopy, and tons of extra laundry. The truth, I soon discovered, was much different (okay, maybe more laundry, but not TONS) than they - and even I - thought! If you are reading this blog post, then chances are you're already aware that there is a plethora of styles, colors, prints, and fabrics paving the glittery cloth diaper highway (picture it being similar to the yellow brick road... only with cloth diapers!), but how do you incorporate them into a baby shower? Easily! Here's a few ideas how: Let's start with the Gift Registry. Many online and in-store retailers of baby goods offer gift registries similar to those found on Target.com or through Babies 'R' Us. With a gift registry, you can make an organized list of everything that you need and want for your new baby (and for you, mamas!), and your friends and family can look up your registry, see what has already been purchased for you, and select what they want to purchase. Here is a list of some of the retailers that offer Gift Registries: Kelly's Closet - http://www.kellyscloset.com/giftregistry_home.asp Cotton Babies - www.cottonbabies.com Thanks Mama - http://www.thanksmama.com/Articles.asp?ID=147 (via MyRegistry.com) Diaper Junction - http://www.diaperjunction.com/giftregistry_home.asp There are likely many others, but these are a few of the most popular, with the largest selections of baby, pregnancy, postpartum and mama products. Once the gift registry is taken care of, you can then focus on the actual baby shower! How do you incorporate cloth diapers at a baby shower? Here are a few suggestions: The Cloth Diaper Cake You've seen the Pinterest images of beautiful "cakes" made up of disposable diapers. Well imagine just how much more beautiful one would be if it was made with fluffy, colorful cloth diapers?!   The possibilities are endless, and can be combined with other New Baby Essentials like blankets, bibs, teeny hats or itty bitty baby shoes (which are not really essential, but so friggin' cute!). Cloth Diaper Games We played this game at my baby shower with disposable diapers, and the concept was totally gross, but pretty hilarious. So you take three or four diapers, melt three or four candy bars separately, then pour the candy (poop) mixture into each diaper. You pass the diapers around and each attendee has to guess what candy bar is in each diaper. As I'm writing this, I'm thinking that maybe it wouldn't be such a good idea to put melted candy bars into new cloth diapers, but you could just grab some "well-loved" used CDs at your local consignment shop, or off of www.diaperswappers.com and go for it! :D There are other games and activities you could incorporate cloth diapers into, of course,  like seeing who can diaper a wiggly  balloon the quickest, "Pin the Prefold," and - okay so this doesn't really have to do with cloth diapers, and it could make you blush, but.... Pin the Sperm on the Ovary! Yes... that really is a game. And honestly, it sounds like hilariously awesome! https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/4f/da/42/4fda42620b3cb723c6603f3ba3a6c1c0.jpg Door Prizes It is common at most baby showers to have some sort of door prize determined by a random luck of the draw. At mine, there were numbers written on the bottom of everyone's plate, and before everyone left a number was drawn out of a bowl and whoever had that number on their plate won the prize. That's fun, but while perusing the vast expanse of baby shower ideas on Pinterest, I found the following which would be way more fun (and too cute)! https://www.pinterest.com/pin/74872412529037722/ "Cut out little diaper shapes from some cloth, smear one or two with a little chocolate, and safety pin shut. Pass out for your guests to wear and have them check their diaper right before they leave. Whoever has a soiled diaper wins a prize!" Have you ever been to a baby shower where cloth diapers were given and/or featured? What kinds of other ideas can you come up with to incorporate cloth? Our Resident Mom -  Lindsay Lewis

Cloth Diapering At Night

Cloth Diapering At Night

It's 2a.m. The house is dark and blissfully silent... The moon dapples her fresh, silver light through your window... You are half-awake, listening to the peaceful breath of your baby, his body rising and falling ever so gently with each inhale and each exhale... You nuzzle close for a mid-night snuggle, warm and cozy in your comfy big bed... when you notice it's a little too warm... but just at your waist... and actually, you feel WET! UGH!!!!! I think most of have experienced that good ol' nighttime leak at least once in our lives, and if you haven't you should! It's really quite the experience! (Insert sarcastic expression of extreme excitement here) Sleep is a precious thing, and most of us parents don't really get much of it until our children are old enough to put themselves to sleep. Which is like, what, 15? So when we have to get up to change a diaper, clothing (our child's and sometimes even our own) and all of the sheets on the bed when we could be sleeping.... well that can make for one grumpy morning to follow. How do we prevent this from happening? I have found that most cloth diapering parents don't like to wake their baby multiple times a night for a diaper change, because... as I said earlier... sleep is precious, and once you wake up a baby, you could be spending the next few hours playing peek-a-boo as you strain to keep your eyes open. Or trying to soothe your now - screaming baby as you strain to keep your sanity. There are a few really great options for nighttime cloth diapering that are worth reviewing, as you may find that one works better for you than the others. Pocket Diapers Pocket diapers - like FuzziBunz - are a great option because you can adjust the absorbency simply by adding or reducing the number of inserts inside of the pocket. I find that with our new One Size diapers I can usually get away with only one insert at night for our 20 month old, but sometimes I will add a cotton/linen insert to the microfiber insert for extra protection. I have heard of a few parents adding as many as three microfiber inserts to their child's nighttime diapers, and while I understand the logic behind this, I can't imagine it would be too comfortable for the child. Not only that, but having that many inserts may cause gapping at the leg openings, resulting in leaks, which would obviously defeat the purpose. Fitteds and Wool This is a favorite of many, because - if prepped properly - is basically bulletproof. Fitteds are diapers made out of natural fibers like hemp, bamboo, or cotton velour (all usually organic) which require a cover. While you can use synthetic covers, most prefer to use wool covers. Wool is a natural temperature regulator, meaning that it will keep you warm in cold temperatures, and keep you cool in hot temperatures. It is also able to absorb up to 1/3 of its weight in moisture, without actually feeling wet! The most "difficult" part about using wool is lanolizing it, which is actually a pretty simple process in which you use lanolin to make the wool water-resistant. This will keep your child's clothing (and your bedding, your lap, your grandma's lap, your sister's lap...etc etc) dry, and the liquid where it should be: in the diaper. As an added bonus, you can let wool air-dry over and over again without ever having to wash it unless it gets pooped on! Prefolds and Covers Thick cotton or hemp prefolds can be another good option, but you will likely need to use two prefolds, or a prefold with a doubler inside in order to last through the night. Using a wool or PUL cover will prevent leaks, and this option works about the same as the fitteds and wool (although you may need to experiment with different folds to find what works best for your child). You can likely make any cloth diaper work for overnights with the right cover and/or inserts. Layering a hemp or bamboo insert underneath a microfiber insert will increase absorbency without adding a lot of extra bulk. Wrapping an insert of your choice inside of a cotton prefold is also a great choice when contained within a wool or PUL cover. The key is to observe your child's "output" during a typical night, and use just enough absorbency to prevent leaks. What do you use for overnight?